I realize 2020 isn’t over yet, but I feel as if we’ve all lived a lifetime in these past eight months. I’ve certainly lived at least two year’s worth of shit in that amount of time. The entire world, the United States, and I personally have had a strange, busy, and stressful year. I don’t typically do a year-end post until at least my birthday (my birthday feels like a more significant year-end to me than NYE does), but this year, particularly this month, feels like a good time for me to start. The. Fuck. OVER.
January
Let’s start from the beginning, shall we? January feels like a millennium ago, so I’ll try to remember. Oh yes, that was when I was in the midst of trying to figure out what to do about the degenerated C3-C4, C4-C5, C5-C6, and C6-C7 discs in my neck. The C5-C6 is herniated, but it’s feeling better now. My surgeon recommended disc replacement, but my insurance company denied coverage. Luckily for me, the pain finally subsided after 16 weeks of Gabapentin and a heating pad. I had to stop running, so I gained weight and lost some of my muscle tone and pretty much all of my cardio fitness.
That was also the month I had my chimney swept and dryer ducting cleaned. I tried to get my water heater flushed, but at 12 years old, no plumber will touch it. I’m on borrowed time, so I need to start saving for a new one because it’s not a matter of “if” it leaks, it’s “when.” Thankfully someone had the good sense to put it up on a wooden box with a pan under it and a drainage pipe. There’s no crawl space, so it’s anyone’s guess where it drains…
I had to get auto maintenance done as well, which this time around included the 30,000-mile maintenance package, new tires, and a recall.
February
Late February was when I got the flu. Boy that was awful. It was toward the end of the month; I was tested and diagnosed the same day Oregon announced our first confirmed case of COVID-19.
If I remember correctly, this was the month I’d decided to finally start going through the entire condo and purging it of all unneeded and unnecessary items; closets, drawers, cupboards… each closet and each room, one at a time.
I didn’t get very far because once the entire state went on lockdown, Goodwill closed. No donations, no purging.
March
This was when my doctor, my employer, and my parents were all in denial about the pandemic. Thankfully my employer came around in the middle of the month and told us all to work from home. However, that wasn’t until a week after I traveled to Wisconsin for a conference– three airports, four airplanes, and an event with people from all over the country. Good times! Two weeks after I returned, someone in the warehouse tested positive. My thyroid hurt for weeks, but I’ll never know if I had COVID-19 or not because testing is dismal; no one here gets a test unless they’re really sick.
As for adulting, this was the month my son and I got new passports (HAHA JOKE’S ON US). I mean… my thought was that it’s always good to have a current passport, and with the Real ID Act and all… well, that was before they extended the deadline. At any rate, we both have new passports now. We applied for my son’s a little later than mine; we got his in barely before they stopped processing them, but it still took four months to get it.
Early March I finally got my will, advance directive, and final wishes finished, signed, and notarized. I got that done barely in time! Kinda hard to get signatures during lockdown.
April
Not a lot happened here, just a lot of uncertainty, closures, and getting my car a new battery. I don’t think I was running again at this point. My cough from the flu lingered and lingered and lingered…
May
More uncertainty, closures, and some weight gain. I started running short distances.
Adulting in May: Mammogram, annual wellness exam, and DEQ for the Subaru. I finally learned how to do the DEQ Too thing since the testing stations were closed.
June
Oh this was a busy month. Still working from home, running regularly again at this point, and I went for a hike and backed my Subaru into a concrete barricade on a forest service road in Washington. I was going to the Siouxon Creek Trail, took the wrong fork in the road, and when I realized what I’d done, over-corrected to avoid going over into a ditch. Rather than going into the ditch I hit an overturned, dilapidated concrete barricade with some rebar sticking out of it. It fucked my rear bumper and back panel up pretty good, to the tune of $3,765 in damage. My deductible is $1,000, so I paid that and got my insurance company to at least give me a good student discount since my kid is now maintaining a 3.0 GPA in college. Now I have new tires, a new battery, and a new rear bumper… on a 2016. (The battery died because Car Toys had hooked the remote wire up to it and left it there and it took 30 minutes to jump start the Nissan; I knew the thing had been abused and died before its time.)
Adulting: Not much this month, but my son ran the vacuum at the same time as the portable AC unit in his bedroom on the same circuit. The breaker tripped, but it wouldn’t come back on. So I called the electrician, got the emergency service, and $765 later, was back up and running that same night. For fuck’s sake! While he was here we discussed having him add two new circuits. He recommended adding them in my bedroom which does not solve the original problem, but it does allow me to keep working, should the kids trip that breaker again. It’ll also allow me to run my own AC unit in my bedroom. So I made an appointment for that. June and July were fucking expensive months.
June was also the month I foolishly decided to get back on OkCupid and try dating again. *eyeroll* I started talking to a guy who had some serious IT chops, seemed nice enough, intelligent, and very cute. The caveats were that he smokes and lives in Springfield (a 90-minute drive away), but I decided that given all of his other good qualities, it was worth a try. June 27th was our first date. We met halfway in Albany for a quick lunch, took a short walk in the park, hit it off really well, and got a hotel room. We went out to dinner together and stayed the night in Albany and went our separate ways the next morning. The sex was phenomenal and would continue to be the entire time we were dating.
Much to my surprise, I got a second date.
July
This was a simultaneously terrible and amazing month. Somehow I juggled working from home, dating, a visit from my mom and stepdad, parenting, various household projects, and not getting sick during a global pandemic.
July 1st – I picked up the Subaru with a new rear bumper. I examined it and notice they’d left a rivet out, so I had to take it back and have them put that in the following morning.
July 2nd – The electrician come out and added two additional circuits to my bedroom. Then I had the rivet put in the Subaru. Also second date with J.M. He came to my place and we had dinner (Mexican take-out) together and went for a walk in the park. He stayed the night.
July 3rd – J.M. was still here when my mom called to let me know they were only a couple of hours away. Shit! She and my stepdad stayed a few days with me and we went for walks in the parks here in town.
At one point my oven had stopped working during this whole thing, so I had to call an appliance repair person.
July 6th – Mr. Appliance came out to look at my oven. It turned out to be the heating element, but the part had to be ordered.
July 8th – The oven was repaired. It wasn’t too expensive, so I just added it to the list of bullshit I’d have to pay for this year.
July 10th, 11th, and 12th – Best. Date. Ever. Seriously. No date with anyone, ever, will top this one. We wanted to go camping, but all campsites were full. I did manage to reserve a room at a bed and breakfast, I suppose I got lucky. Friday night I picked him up in Springfield and we went up to the Dee Wright Observatory on McKenzie Pass Highway (242). We sat in the car and made out under the open moon roof, stared at the moon, and talked. Then we got out of the car and an older gentleman asked, “Are you here to see the comet?” We said, “What comet? We didn’t know there was one!” He let us borrow his binoculars and what do you know– there it was– the NEOWISE Comet! We were shocked! It was so beautiful. We saw that, the moon, Jupiter, Saturn, Mars, and toward dawn, Venus. It was so dark up there we could see the Milky Way, too. We stood atop the observatory and watched the comet and kissed. It was so romantic.
After the sun came up, we drove down to a pullout on the side of the road. We set up my camp table and stove, got the food out, and I made coffee and breakfast. I was well prepared with coffee, food, water, dishes, etc. I’d brought pretty much all of my camping gear except the tent and sleeping bags. We sat on the camp chairs and drank coffee and ate breakfast in the forest. Then we put some blankets down on the ground, had sex, and cuddled.
After that we drove to the Proxy Falls trailhead and hiked to Proxy Falls. Then we drove up to Sahalie Falls and Koosah Falls, then stopped at a rest area on 126 and had lunch. I made sandwiches with the stuff I’d had in the cooler. The whole day was so nice.
After that, we checked into the bed and breakfast. Wow… that place was spectacularly beautiful. It sits on five acres of land right on the McKenzie River. They had afternoon wine and snacks so I did that (while he smoked or whatever) and then did our own thing. We went out to dinner at a nearby restaurant, went back to our room, and drank a bottle of Riesling I’d brought. The next morning we had a delicious breakfast they served us, then we checked out and went home.
July 18th and 19th – Since the previous date was all my idea and I’d planned everything, this time it was his turn. Except he didn’t actually plan or prepare for anything. We went to an outdoor rave type party, slept in the back of his van on a borrowed deflated air mattress on plywood, and went out to brunch with his friends. I didn’t mind all of that except the part where a couple of people who were there and awake in the morning were completely wasted and made me feel anxious. There was also a car blocking us in, so I felt trapped. Then when it came time for brunch, he invited people I didn’t know after I’d already told him my introvert batteries were dead and I needed time alone with him. But I was a good sport and suffered through it. My patience paid off because he later agreed to come all the way up to my place that very same day despite being so tired. In return I let him shower here, fed him, and gave him a massage.
Other bullshit in July: This was when the patio fencing project began on my building. The HOA is charging us an extra $700/year for seven years for major projects, and our patio fences were this month. Goodie. So I had to take down the patio lights, all the hooks, the bird feeders, and the hangers for the feeders. I also had to move everything away from the fences like planters and trellises.
Oh and because of stress, too much sun, and a weakened immune system, I got my first HSV-1 outbreak on my lower lip in four years. That was fun. I had to explain that to J.M. in a text before our fourth date so that he wasn’t blindsided by it. He didn’t think it was a big deal, we just had to avoid kissing or oral sex while it was an issue.
Almost done with July– BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE! It turned out there was fucking POISON OAK on the property the party was at. I had a couple of drinks, needed to pee, and went traipsing around in the dark looking for a private place to drop trou’. Lo and behold, a couple of weeks later I’m fucking burning, itching, blistering, and oozing. Great. (Apparently I’d rubbed it onto his body that night and got it all over him and he developed a nasty rash, which is fine by me because he ended up dumping me in a spectacularly shitty way, so it serves him right. Sometimes Karma is proactive.)
Here’s the bullshit I endured, accompanied by a histamine reaction so bad, I had bruises all over my thighs from scratching so hard. My legs, arms… everything itched. Even my labia and anus itched. Everything. Itched. The only time I got any relief was by taking benadryl and sleeping. The blisters oozed a clear, yellow-tinted liquid that dripped down my leg. It took two weeks to get to its worst. I finally got a phone appointment with my doctor and he prescribed me a steroid cream. We were both apprehensive about me taking prednisone during a pandemic (immunosuppresant bad).
Betamethasone good… the last three images were from after I started putting the cream on it. My hypothesis is that the urushiol oil got into my bloodstream from the scratches in that first image. But why my reaction was so insanely delayed, I have no idea. This stuff apparently hitches a ride on your immune system, so maybe it took longer due to my immune system being weakened. On the other hand, my psoriasis, which is an autoimmune disorder, went absolutely fucking crazy these past couple of weeks. My fingers are peeling like a lizard. Who knows. The only thing that can really explain all the weird shit this year is COVID-19, but again, without a fever, shortness of breath and coughing, I don’t get a test.
August
1st – J.M. and I camped near Crater Lake. He wanted to go as close as possible to the next full moon to get pictures of the reflection over the lake. He’d never been there, so didn’t know what to expect. I’d been there several times, so I reserved a campsite, packed everything, and picked him up. I knew exactly where to go and when, and got the shot you see here in this post. He has a DSLR but doesn’t use it and isn’t serious about photography, so me getting the shot was good enough for him. It was a good trip aside from being bitten by a non-venomous spider. It hurt, but didn’t make me sick in any way.
Oh, about that photo– the one in this post– if you look above the moon and ever so slightly to the right, that’s Jupiter. The faint speck you see about an inch to the left of the moon is Saturn.
We set up camp, ate dinner, then went to the lake. After that we went back to our site and went to bed. The next morning we had breakfast, packed everything up, then hung out at the lake some more. I told him that since wer were there, he should see in in the light of day so he could see how blue it is. It’s so beautiful. We got some photos of us together that were very sweet.
Adulting: The Nissan had another airbag recall I had to take care of. It was also time to have the dryer’s guts professionally cleaned, so I had the appliance repair guy come back out and do that.
12th – This was when shit got weird. I picked J.M. up in Springfield so we could watch the Perseid metor shower together. He was acting kind of strange; distant, and not his typically affectionate self. Mind you, this was date #9 in just six weeks. We were solid. But something was off, I could feel it. Regardless, we drove up to the Dee Wright Observatory once again. He fell asleep on the way there and asked me to wake him when we got there. I tried, he wouldn’t wake up, and I was hurt that he wasn’t joining me. So I watched the meteor shower for a while myself, then got in the car and proceeded to drive back down. He picked a fight with me. He went cold and hostile and wouldn’t let me talk. He said we could probably work through it, but that it would have to be “tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow” came and went… nothing. He ghosted for a day and a half, then broke up with me with a fucking text message. He was patronizing and cruel, and even said, “The sex was mediocre at best.” I think he’d met someone else and was too chickenshit to tell me.
I’m glad he got the poison oak from me. Fucking coward.
More adulting: An oil change and tire rotation for the Subaru. Also a dentist appointment for my son.
On the bright side– I got to have lunch with my daughter. She was traveling from Boise to Seaside and we met in Beaverton. She’s amazing. <3
Now That Everything Has Calmed the Fuck Down
For fuck’s sake, I think I’m done. The house is clean, bills are paid, and all maintenance, recalls, licensing, etc. is all done for both cars. My son is working for the summer and is registered for all online classes for fall term. His girlfriend got the pin taken out of her toe and just went back to work this week. I’m still working from home and will be for the foreseeable future, but glad I still have a job. All of the home maintenance projects are done. The patio fence is finally finished and I got everything cleaned up and put back the way it was. Next week they’re pressure washing the buildings, but that’s a minor thing. No more visits from family for a while. No more appointments aside from the dentist for me next month. Other than the dentist appointment, my calendar is clear until Christmas. *sigh of relief*
I decide dating probably isn’t for me after having to let two people down. One was a conservative Republican who said, “Have you ever dated a CEO type?” (*puke in my mouth a little*) and another was someone who said he was “Centrist,” but answered the Border Wall question “yes” and took everything I said extremely literally. He was also looking for a wife and texted incessantly. I just… can’t.
POLITICS ARE A MOTHERFUCKING DEAL-BREAKER. TRUMP SHOULD BE IMPEACHED. NO BORDER WALL. BLACK LIVES MATTER.
I haven’t been running or working out since the poison oak incident, but plan to start back up next week. We have to wear face masks at the gym while working out, and I tried that and it was too hard to breathe running on the treadmill. It’s been too hot to run outside, so the guy at the front desk said we can use face shields instead if we need to. I ordered some, so I’m good to go there.
And Now — Goals
These aren’t going to be as lofty as this year’s. Wait… did I even set any this year? Maybe that was 2019. Yeah, that was it. In 2019 I had some overly ambitious goals and the marathon was the only one I accomplished.
At any rate, this won’t be “read a book every month” or anything like that. It’s more general, with only a few specific things.
- Learn a foreign language
- Learn to play a musical instrument (J.M. is learning the guitar, but my choice of instrument has nothing to do with that… although I did get the inspiration from him.)
- Learn how to be better at Chess (J.M. is really good at this and the whole point was to get better and surprise him, but even though we broke up, I still want to play)
- Participate in Inktober
- Participate in NaNoWriMo
- Read more books
- Follow my training plan even though all races have been cancelled
- Lose weight
So fuck “SMART” goals, they set me up for failure. I need to start just by doing a little bit of each thing each day or even splitting them up M/W/F, and T/Th/Sa or whatever.
I installed an app on my phone for learning Spanish and I bought a ukulele. I’ve already learned 20 Spanish flash cards. I just got my Lohanu concert ukulele today and already know two chords. That thing is a blast! Blogging was on my to-do list as well, and look at that! I’m getting it done!
I did take two PTO days this week. J.M. and I were supposed to have gone on a road/camping trip up in Washington this week, but since he dumped me, that fell through. It’s too bad… we were going to see the property my family owns, camp at Cooper Lake, camp near Mt. Rainier and go see that, then head over toward the coast and visit the rain forest and stay the night in Aberdeen. Aberdeen was going to be special because Nirvana was his favorite band. Then the last thing was going to be to drive down the coast then back home. His loss! I cancelled all reservations and instead decided to take these days as mental health days, reevaluate my life, and set some personal goals.
Last week, as a last hurrah on OkCupid before I disabled my profile again, I did meet someone for lunch at a park here in town. He was passing through on his way to a backpacking trip in the Wallowas. He’s a Dutch wildlife biologist from the Netherlands, but has lived in Eugene since 1998. He doesn’t own a car, is vegan and fresh out of a relationship, and we probably aren’t compatible. It was so nice to meet him, though! How random. We’ll stay in touch, maybe for a little while.
I’ve had a couple of fairly strong white russians, so perhaps it’s time for some food.
