Wow, it’s been over three months since my last post. So much has happened.
It’s been so long, in fact, I found this old draft saved from shortly after the Imagine Dragons concert that I intended to start writing, and I added the photo but never typed any text. I guess I’ll start with that, then backtrack and go in chronological order.
Imagine Dragons Concert
It was so good. They played in Ridgefield, Washington and it took us two hours to get there because traffic was so bad. I took my son and his girlfriend. We had to wait until she got off work to go pick her up then there were two car accidents on the way because of course there were. We barely got there in time to use the bathroom, get a t-shirt and a drink, and to our seats before they got into the first song. We missed the opening band entirely. It was annoying, but at least we didn’t miss much. This was one of the few bands I went looking to see when they were going on tour rather than just going because they happened to be here. They put on an amazing show and played almost all of my favorite songs. It was worth the effort getting there and back.
Dating
I started doing that again and the dating scene seems to have improved a little bit since Covid. However, it’s still really hard to find that perfect FWB. I had a first date with someone really cute and smart and we hit it off right away. At the end of our date we kissed, then stayed in touch and ended up having sex. The sex was great, but this guy travels for work 2/3 of the year and when he is home, he’s extraordinarily busy. I was getting frustrated with that, then when he admitted he makes himself busy on purpose, I was like, yeah, I can’t deal with that. He denied keeping himself busy in order to avoid facing personal demons and/or baggage, but I know better.
I’d had a few decent conversations going, but one fizzled out and he couldn’t seem to keep it going. Then when I mentioned meeting, he kind of ghosted. Unmatched. Another was was overly aggressive and was messaging me multiple times a day – most of the time before I even had a chance to respond to the last message he’d sent. Unmatched. Then there are the ones who are so focused on one subject, I get bored with the conversation. They’ll find that one thing we have in common and cling to that and talk about nothing but that. Ugh. Unmatched.
I had a date with someone in Sandy, which was a 45-minute drive from here. On the dating app he seemed cute, smart, and nice, so I looked past the fact that he either didn’t know what gluten was, or had zero respect for the fact that I’m gluten intolerant. He kept suggesting restaurants that had nothing but gluten on the menu (pizza, pasta, etc.) but thankfully were permanently closed until he found one that wasn’t (still all gluten). So I went and he was wearing clothes two sizes too big, spit when he talked (much more than the normal person does), and had no car and only a part time job. He also lived with his parents, ended every sentence with a weird crescendo, and ignored me every time I said, “I should get going…” and talked at me for six fucking hours. He doesn’t need a date, he needs a therapist. Unmatched.
There was another one who lived in Albany (an hour drive from here) and he was very young (32). We texted for a while before meeting and that went alright, but he got really pushy about sex. He wanted to have sex right then and there, in public, after I’d already told him I don’t fuck on the first date. After that he kept pushing it, and wanted to spend an entire Saturday together. I was really busy at the time and do not like feeling pressured, so I finally disabled my profile and told him we aren’t a good match. He also lives with his parents, and I wonder if he’s looking for a way out.
I get that a lot of people nowadays in their 20s and even early 30s are living with their parents because all forms of housing are unaffordable, but aggressively seeking a relationship as a way to get out of that living situation is not smart. I know because I’ve done it and it’s always ended badly.
There was another one that I’d given my phone number to before I disabled my profile, and all he would do is say, “Good morning” or a similar one-liner about once a week. He never answered any questions I asked him and he never asked me any questions. He was quite elusive and secretive. Those are red flags, so I told him sorry, we’re not a good match.
I had deleted my old profile and created a new one this time around, which meant anyone I had previously swiped left on, unmatched with, or blocked now showed up. Lo and behold, not long before I disabled my profile again, I saw The Guy. You know the one… lives in Salem (not the runner, the other one) and was insufferable. He assumed I wanted more than I did, just like all men do. He was largely unresponsive and flaky, never thanked me for dinner, and generally drove me crazy. But, to be fair, I was going through a very difficult time when I met him, so I was a little bit insufferable myself.
I texted him. Desperate for a FWB I knew I was sexually compatible with and one that I knew wouldn’t be pushy or take up too much of my time, I figured it was worth a shot. Much to my surprise, a few days later he replied and said he wanted to see me again. I explained that I’d been going through an exceptionally rough couple of years when we met, and that things were a lot different and I’m much more patient now. Apparently things are a little different for him now as well. He’d sold some of his work, “intellectual property,” but spoke with an attorney and took the attorney’s suggestions to ensure he gets royalties. So now he’s not having to work as many hours.
He and I did meet up and he’s been a lot more responsive, reliable, and sweet. He’s been thanking me for dinner and making an effort to see me at least every 1-2 weeks. I’ve seen him more since we reconnected than I ever did before we stopped speaking for a year and a half. I think he may have taken to heart some of the things I was complaining about and took my extended silence as a sign that I make good on my threats. Seeing that I am still single and unattached after all this time may have also confirmed that I do not, in fact, want a committed relationship and I’m very serious about that. He never really believed me, but I think now he does. On the flip side, I’ve also been a lot less texty, clingy, and needy. I’ve been living my own life with work, adulting, and various appointments and household projects. When I’m not busy with that stuff, I’m out hiking with my hiking buddy and that’s always an all-day thing.
So, things are going well so far and it’s been several weeks now. The only caveat is that now he’s considering his options for leaving the country because he has a daughter who is transgender. We all know what happened on November 5th this year isn’t good for a lot of people who aren’t cis gendered, straight, white, and male. When I woke up in the middle of the night and couldn’t sleep, my immediate concern wasn’t the election results, it was the text I got from him talking about exploring his options for moving abroad. 🙁
I’m not attached by any means. It’s just really, really hard to find the perfect FWB and he is absolutely the perfect FWB now. It’s taken 12 years to find that, and for us it’s taken 3.5 years to finally get to a good place together. He had plans to come over yesterday, but it seems he’s come down with Covid. So I’ll be seeing him Thursday night instead. The sex is fabulous and I get cuddles and conversation as well! He provides the dick and the cuddles, and I provide the food, oral sex, and an orgasm in return (I get mine too). He doesn’t ever take up more than about four hours of my time at the most, so it’s extra perfect. We’re also non-monogamous, so I’m free to hook up with someone else if I want to. He is too, and I’m fine with that. (Right now I don’t think he’s seeing anyone else and I’m not either at the moment.)
Family
My mom and stepdad came to visit in August just a couple of weeks after my last post. It was a nice visit. I took them to Roxy’s for dinner in Tualatin, then the following day to Powell’s Books in downtown Portland. I love taking those two into Portland because all they hear about is what a shithole the city is due to their conservative media consumption. It was crowded and one spot smelled like urine while a homeless guy was smoking weed on the street, but there wasn’t anything concerning going on. They loved the food, the bookstore, and swimming in the pool here again. We always have such nice visits.
The only issue we had was my new neighbor in the one-story unit to the west of me. He started a fire in the fireplace without opening the damper first and his smoke alarms were going off incessantly – all afternoon, all night, and into the morning. I was convinced he was deaf until I met him. He’s not deaf, but I think he might be on the autism spectrum. He took a liking to me, though, and when I brought him some fire logs and cookies, we talked for about a hour. He’s opening the damper now and it turns out the steam from his shower sets off the alarm right outside his bathroom. He also had his ceiling fan on the same frequency as mine, so we were in a ceiling fan war for a week until my stepdad got up on a ladder and took apart the base of mine so we could change the DIP switches. All is well now… I have my own ceiling fan control back, it’s quiet, and the neighbor is nice and takes good care of the place. He’s only 27 and his aunt owns it. He’s a contractor, so he seems to enjoy the work he’s doing on it. He also loves fishing. The former tenant retired and moved to Idaho to be closer to her son. I don’t miss her; she was always so rude to me for no reason.
Appliance Drama
Back in 2018 I got a new breaker panel. In summer of 2020 I had to get a new heating element in the oven. Then in 2021 the water heater hoses sprung a leak and I decided since the water heater was 12 years old, it was time to get a new one, so I did that. Later that December, the living room Cadet wall heater broke and I got a new one, then replaced all of the rest of the heaters as well. In 2022 the window AC unit installed in my bedroom wall quit working and I got a new one of those. Just a few months later, my dryer died and I got a new motor for it. Last fall I had all of the fireplace panels replaced, and earlier this year my washing machine broke and it was the suspension springs. I paid a lot of money to have those replace. All of these things cost me a fuck-ton of money.
Once again, my washing machine broke the last week of August. This time it was the tub bearings, and even my awesome repair guys who will fix almost anything wouldn’t fix it. He told me to get a new washing machine and said Lowe’s was the best place to buy one.
The saga begins… oh my. I ordered a washing machine online and it arrived, only to be too small to fit under the existing dryer. One of the delivery guys said I should go to the Lowe’s store and buy the matching dryer, and in the meantime I had him leave the new washer in my garage. Sigh. OK, fine. So I went to Lowe’s and they didn’t have the matching dryer in stock. I looked around at what they did have in stock that would fit, and I decided on an LG WashTower. It’s a stacked unit, but not technically stacked… it’s all one unit with a washer on the bottom and a dryer on top. The delivery guy also said my dryer outlet was actually a range outlet and that because it’s not up to code, they wouldn’t plug it in. I’d have to replace the cable myself, which I didn’t want to do. Because I want all of my electrical to be up to code and safe, I had an electrician come out the evening before the washer/dryer delivery and change the outlet to the tune of $560.
The delivery guys from Lowe’s showed up and they took the old washer and dryer out, returned the new one that wouldn’t fit, and installed the new LG WashTower. They had to do all of this up a fucking flight of stairs and take the bathroom door of its hinges. It was such hard work for them and still hot outside, so I sent them away with ice cold cans of Waterloo.
It turns out the LG WashTower has a heat pump ventless dryer! Ventless! How exciting. I wasn’t even seeking that out; it was just what was in stock that would fit and not break the bank. The first thing I did was email the HOA board of directors and told them to fuck off about requiring proof of annual dryer vent cleaning. Then I spent yet another $400 on one last vent cleaning and had the guy cut the flexible vent off at the ceiling and cover it. Dryer ventilation? Unmatched. It’s a smart one, too, so I can control it from an app and see how many cycles have been run so I know when to do all the maintenance on it.
Then I got a notice from PGE that the average pay amount for my electric bill was going up by a whopping $46/month.
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. I’m paying $208/month for 1,008 square feet?! I’m pretty sure that square footage includes the garage, so it’s less than that! Granted, PGE has raised their rates by 40% since 2021 and they’re going up again next year – all the more reason to conserve. My goal now is to get that bill back under $200/month if that’s even possible. I refuse to be miserably cold in the winter, so I’m cutting back on everything but heat. However, I did figure out how to put a tarp over the outside of the AC unit (it’s on the second story so I did it from my bedroom window) and put a cover over the inside as well. I’m also closing the blinds at night to keep some of the cold out and I bought extra sweaters and an electric throw blanket to use when I’m just sitting on the couch watching TV instead of turning the heat up. I’m burning fire logs on cold nights, too. Those are expensive, but it’s part of the grocery budget which tends to fluctuate.
After receiving that notice I promptly replaced six of the most-used power strips in the condo with Kasa smart power strips and set them all to turn off when we’re asleep and at work. Only one of them in my son’s room comes on automatically. The rest all stay off unless I need a device, then I tell Alexa to turn it on and back off when I’m done with it. They have an energy monitoring feature, so I can see on the app which things are power hogs and which electronics are drawing a lot of phantom power when they’re turned off. I’ve been talking to people about this and I’m shocked by how many people aren’t aware that phantom (or “vampire”) power is a thing! I’ve known it all along but didn’t think it was as bad as it is. I’m already seeing a slight drop in our energy consumption on the PGE app.
Because of the intense sticker shock with my electric bill and the cost of appliance repair for old appliances, I decided to go ahead and start replacing all of my appliances with Energy Star certified ones. The water heater will have to wait about 7-8 years because it’s only three years old. But when it’s time to replace it, I’ll go tankless. The Cadet wall heaters don’t count because they can’t possibly be energy efficient, but they are also only three years old. The microwave can’t be Energy Star because none of them are, but that’ll be the next thing I replace because mine is older than dirt and I’ve had to epoxy broken parts back onto it. The AC unit I bought in 2022 is Energy Star… I did that without realizing it. The new washer and dryer also are, which I also did without realizing it. Good news on both counts.
I found out my range and dishwasher were both 28 years old, so I took the plunge – I sold off all the stocks and bonds in my brokerage account (the home improvement fund) and transferred the money to checking so I could pay off the credit card. Then I bought an Energy Star certified range and dishwasher. Lowe’s was going to take three months, so I got them from Home Depot. So far I love them both! The range is beautiful and has these dual burners and a warm zone. It’s a glass top and the oven does air frying. The dishwasher is so quiet. It also has a third rack on top that’s flat for things like knives and utensils.
Like I said, the microwave will be next, but it won’t be for a while. I have to save up more money first because I’d emptied out my home improvement fund. I had been saving for new flooring upstairs, so that will just have to wait quite a while longer. I think in about five years or so, I’ll spring for a fridge. I need a smaller one because the one I currently have is a huge pain in the ass. The Home Depot delivery guys had to take it out of its cubby and move it into the living room to get the old range out and the new one in. They actually weren’t supposed to do that, but they did it anyway and their boss had them take photos. They did do some slight superficial damage to the living room flooring, but it’s barely noticeable and it was worth it. I tipped them each $40 for going above and beyond. Thankfully the dishwasher installation was uneventful. I don’t know what my options are for an Energy Star refrigerator, but I’ll look later when it’s time to buy one. The current fridge was the newest of the appliances having been manufactured in 2015. Now the microwave is the oldest. It’s an over-the-range microwave, so not exactly cheap or easy to install. I’ll leave that to the professionals.
Middle age
I turned 50 years old since the last time I wrote here. That’s a pretty big deal to me. I’m feeling it, physically, that’s for sure. I’m doing OK, though. I’m also going to have my first grandchild next April. My daughter is going to have a baby girl and she’s due April 10th. She said I could be there for the birth if I can make it in time; if not, at least I’ll get to meet her. 🙂
I was six months overdue for my TDaP vaccine booster (that’s every 10 years), so I went and got the flu and Covid vaccines for this year first. Then the day after my 50th birthday I got the TDaP and first shingles vaccine. I’ll go and get the second shingles vaccine in February sometime – definitely on a Friday. It’s a nasty one! Kinda like that first Covid booster we all got back in fall of 2021… remember that one? Yeah… it feels a lot like that, but with the addition of a big, red, sore, itchy bump on the arm that lasts for about a week. It stayed discolored for two weeks and just finally stopped itching last week. It’s a doozy, but I’m still absolutely 100% pro-vaccine. Give me ALL the vaccines. My son was also nice enough to be cooperative and go get his flu and Covid vaccines for this fall.
More new Stuff
My employer changed our dental insurance company, so I took that opportunity to say goodbye to our dental office of 10 years. They had gone way downhill and were so bad, they closed for two months and called to confirm our appointments even after I told them we were canceling our appointments and switching dentists. They were a big corporate chain, anyway. Come to find out, our new dentist office has our old hygienist who was so good! We’ve both gone to the new dentist now and we’re both very happy. It’s even closer to home than the old office; it’s a 10-minute walk down the street! And our hygienist is being paid more than twice what she was at the corporate chain. It’s a win-win for all of us.
Also, my son has now been employed at the company where we work for five years. He was recently offered a new position as Warehouse Coordinator. It’s pretty much a lateral promotion, but it’ll get him out of the warehouse and into the sales office.
I think that’s about all I have for now. I’m still smoking weed, which has been really nice. I have developed a bit of a tolerance, but I do only smoke at night before bed and on weekends. Not all weekend, though, I get my chores done first. And I don’t do it on hiking days until before bed. My favorite strains are Carbon Fiber, The Soap, Eucalyptus Haze, and Bakers Dozen. The Soap seems to be the only Sativa I’ve tried so far that doesn’t send my mind reeling in an uncomfortable way, yet doesn’t make me sleepy like an Indica or even 50/50 hybrid can. I have gained a little weight from the munchies, but not a lot, which is surprising because I’ve been eating quite a bit.
I’m still dressing nicer; in fact, I’ve upped my wardrobe game quite a bit. I’m still taking advantage of my Old Navy rewards, but only for things like dresses, active wear, and jeans now. Their shirts are much too thin and short, just terrible quality. The sweaters are too thin and pill too easily. I hadn’t realized how bad they all are until I started ordering shirts and cardigan sweaters on Amazon. I’ve found some really good brands. The t-shirts are thick, v-neck, long enough to cover my hips, and come in lots of colors. Even the sleeves are longer. They’re just better overall. I’ve found some mary jane shoes I love as well, and rather than only black/white/gray shirts I’m wearing seasonal colors. I’m also wearing make-up and jewelry more regularly, and got some nice Timex watches and a pearl necklace. I’ve started doing my make-up differently. I wear a cream blush from a stick and use a highlighting powder and wear a nice Revlon Colorstay lipstick. I have several shades now. Instead of the old spongy eye shadow applicators that wear out and tear, I’m using brushes. I’ve essentially given myself a make-over. I’ve kept my hair long and layered and get it trimmed up every 10 weeks. I’m using an at-home tooth whitening gel every six months. All that’s left is losing weight again…but then I’ll have to buy a whole new wardrobe again. So I’ll do that one slow and steady, but lately I’ve been busy with dating and condo maintenance and improvements. All in due time.
The next concert I’ll be going to is Thievery Corporation in December. After that, Heart in March. I don’t have any planned after that, or any plans for summer; just the trip to Idaho in April to see my new granddaughter. I should start thinking about what to do next summer. I think I’m long overdue for some camping.