Tots and Pears

<Rant>

Am I just depressed or getting old, or is anyone else sick and tired of the end-of-year fanfare?

I used to sit down and reflect on the year and go over what I’d accomplished or endured and what my plans were for the following year. Now not only do I not give a fuck, I’m also tired of all the newsletters and podcasts talking about the year’s best movies, TV, music, etc. and how to “stop drinking for a month” or “take control of your finances.” I’m even sick of the “biggest news stories of the year.”

Ever since Covid I haven’t really been thriving physically or even mentally, I’ve simply been surviving. I’ve been seemingly thriving financially, though. I’m not wealthy by any means, but I finally have shit under control and my net worth is growing, not shrinking. Hell, I actually have a net worth now that’s not in red. It’s like a triangle – physical, mental, financial. I think I only have the capacity to focus on one side of the triangle at a time. Once finances are in order they almost run themselves (with a few checkups here and there). Mental health is quite a bit more challenging. Physical health can be as well when you’re short on time and energy, but mental and physical are inextricably linked, and when one declines (or improves) the other does, too. Perhaps I should focus on those for 2025. There’s just so much, you know, because I also want to learn T-SQL and start playing the ukulele and guitar again. And write that memoir… but I’m not going to do fuck-all if my physical and mental health aren’t good.

Each year has its ups and downs and things have been getting better since the awful 2022, but I still feel fairly damaged from that year (as well as the first few months of 2023 and even this year I lost another pet). I’ve accomplished a lot over the last few years, but since I only have like, two friends, and neither of them actually hang out with me, no one knows anything unless I talk about it here.

Sometimes I feel as if I’m a little bit lost because for 40 hours a week I have to assimilate and fit in. I often feel like I’m a bit of an outcast on my own team because I’m the only woman on my team, the oldest on my team, and the only woman in IT who’s working in the office. The guys like to talk about beer, sports, and the places they travel to. I hate sports, don’t like beer, and the only places I want to travel to are Yellowstone or here in the PNW in the middle of nowhere. These people also grew up with somewhat normal parents and happy childhoods. They don’t smoke weed or cuss like sailors, and they’re all monogamous and married except one, and he’s only 25 and already wanting to settle down.

I’m sure they wonder why I’m never in a relationship. I’ve tried to explain it to one of them, but the only thing I could muster was something along the lines of, “I don’t trust anyone not to hurt me because every man I’ve given my heart to has, so why the fuck would I?”

It’s not like I can just blurt out, “I’m into ethical non-monogamy and don’t trust men” when I work on a team of all monogamous… men.

I’m still never going back to social media. If I hadn’t left, I wouldn’t have known all that time that only one of those 160 “friends” were actually friends. Only ONE has stayed in touch on a regular basis (you know who you are – thank you).

</Rant>

 

Thievery Corporation Concert

Wow, that was an amazing concert! I was nervous about going because it was at the Roseland Theater in Portland and I went alone. I looked on Google Maps for parking and kept reading a lot of horrible reviews of parking lots where cars had been broken into. So I took literally everything out of my car before I went, and left it all open to show it was empty (glove box, center console, etc.) I managed to get a spot right in front of the pay kiosk under a bright light. I paid the $14 for parking, walked to the Roseland Theater without incident, and fumbled around getting in line and my ticket scanned and wrist stamped. I did not know my way around at all. I didn’t even know where to find the bathroom.

Old Town smells like urine and weed.

I managed to get myself in, went to the bathroom, got a drink, and found my seat. The guy sitting right in front of me was the only bad part of the show. He was tall, had a giant fluffy head, and kept bobbing around and putting his hands out in front of himself. What an obnoxious moron. So I didn’t get many good photos or videos because he was in the way.

I didn’t know what to expect because Thievery Corporation is just two dudes, at least according to Spotify and Wikipedia. But they toured with two drummers, a bass player, and three vocalists. It was phenomenal. Around the middle of the show they sat in a half circle and did an acoustic set. They did most of my favorite songs by them! They put on such an enjoyable show, I could watch them every night. I’ve always loved them ever since my ex introduced me to them in about 2006, but I’m completely obsessed with them now.

Work

I got another raise. It was just a formality because when they had originally put me on salary, they put me on this weird bonus plan where rather than getting the same bonuses hourly employees get, I’d have to do one huge project for the year, and it the bonus is ideally $5,000 but is dependent upon sales and the company’s safety record. Well I’m corporate, so “safety” in the context of the company doesn’t have anything to do with me and as e-commerce, I have no bearing at all on sales. Additionally, my entire job consists of one huge project after another. My boss agreed on all counts (he was actually the one who said it out loud), so they are keeping me on salary, but switching me back to the same bonuses hourly employees get (my bonus ended up being only $4,000 because our local branch’s safety record is abysmal). Since those hourly employee bonuses are smaller, they bumped my base pay up by 2.8%.

Finances

2024 was the year I spent a fuck-ton of money. My mom gave me enough to pay off my mortgage, so there went $136k. Then I bought a new couch, chair, and coffee table. There went another few thousand. After that it was a vet bill for when Reuben passed away. Then I rebuilt my desktop PC, bought a new laptop, and a couple of weeks ago got a new phone (my son gets all of my hand-me-downs and his phone was no longer holding a charge). Then there were the four new appliances to the tune of almost $5k, and all the jewelry, make-up, and clothes to complete my makeover.

After that it was a new coffee maker, crockpot, cookware, and keyboard and mouse. I’m very happy with my Keychron C2 mechanical keyboard with red linear switches. I put blue clicky ones on the 10-key keypad. I got a few other small things as well; stuff that I’d been using for almost 10 years and had just worn out, like my electric razor that was also no longer holding a charge.

Most of it was necessary; a lot of it was in want of a fresh start, and a little of it was wanting to avoid the impending inflation presumably by next summer, courtesy of tariffs and mass deportations. I’m definitely done spending money now, because I’ve been riding that fine line between “buy now to avoid tariffs” and “save to survive recession” and I can’t predict the future. I can only go by my gut, but I do trust my gut 100% of the time. I bought all the big ticket items from China. The only things left are the over-the-range microwave (mine is 20 years old) and refrigerator. I have $400 in Home Depot gift cards, but I need a break from all of that for a little while. And I’m not getting a new fridge any time soon since mine was manufactured in 2015.

It’s all good, though. I’m still socking away a bunch into my 401(k), Roth IRA, and high yield savings. I’m working on saving up $30k over the next four years for my next car so as to keep car payments down to somewhere around $200/month. My other goal is to have $20k in my emergency fund (six months of [bare bones] living expenses) within the next few years. At some point I’d love to reach $100k in cash assets, or rather $130k since $30k of that will go toward a car. I’ve never seen that much money before. Hell, before my grandparents passed away, I’d never seen $10k before.

I did make the decision to put money into high yield savings that goes toward bills that are paid only annually or larger bills that are paid semi-annually. That’s property taxes, homeowner’s insurance, and auto insurance. That way, that money will be earning interest all year while it’s waiting to be paid, then I’ll transfer it out once it’s due. A money market account would make more sense, but I don’t have enough to open one and I’d rather be banking with my credit union. I don’t even know if they offer one, but I doubt the interest would be as high as the big banks if they did. So, this is my workaround.

Dating

I really should change this heading to “FWB-ing” because it’s not actually dating. Sure, I go on dates, but it’s only to see if there’s a mutual attraction and to get the dude’s vibe so I can make sure he’s not a creep.

The Guy and I hit a couple of rough patches recently because of my insecurities. He had a health scare and told me about it and that was why I hadn’t heard from him for almost a week. I was relieved to hear from him again, but then he disappeared for another four days and of course I freaked out. That creates a bit of a rift between us and we begin to argue, and typically I storm off and stop talking to him. But this time I’m really trying to work things out. We’re also both not in good places right now because he has some health issues and then his daughter got sick. Then he got sick, and I’m sick and everybody is fucking sick. He and I haven’t seen each other since a couple of days before Thanksgiving. We are still talking, though. I told him I want to see him again so we can set some realistic expectations, particularly for me, where levels of communication are concerned.

I’m pretty sure he’s on the autism spectrum. I have asked him and he said, “I do not think I am,” but yeah… he totally is. Even my son thinks so. Oh yeah, they finally met. It was only a little awkward, but at least we got that out of the way. That whole thing was making him hesitant a couple of years ago, but he’s more comfortable with it now. I mean, it has been over two years now we’ve been doing this off and on.

I’d rather keep it ‘on’ than ‘off,’ that’s for sure. But I do not feel the need or want for a committed relationship, particularly not a monogamous one. This guy is really busy all the time, so the fact that we saw each other so often over the fall was an anomaly. I’ll probably only get to see him once a month. He and I have talked about that and he does want me to find someone else in addition to him to meet my needs. He said he’s not comfortable with talking about the person with me, but he is comfortable with the “abstract idea” of it and knowing that some of the pressure is off of him to meet all of my needs.

It actually makes me feel good to know that he doesn’t feel comfortable with talking about who else I’m fucking.

Health

Fuck RFK Jr., I am getting all the vaccines! In mid-September I got the most recent Flu and Covid vaccines. Then the day after my 50th birthday I got my TDaP booster and the first in the Shingles series. The Shingles shot messed up my arm for a bit and gave me a headache, fever, and body aches.

The day after Christmas I went in to get my second Shingles in the series, maybe a little too close to the first. I wanted to make sure I got it while I was on PTO due to side effects, and before Brain Worm is confirmed to his position to fuck up health in the U.S. We can get the second one 2-6 months after the first. For me it had been 2.5 months.

OMG. That vaccine was the worst. I was up all night throwing up (not norovirus – that was worse), felt like I’d been run over by a train, and had a fever of 101. Bear in mind my normal is 97.3, so that’s 102.3 for someone with a normal temp. Everything I’d read said side effects would last 2-3 days… thank goodness mine were only one. Then later, my temperature read 96.6. I took it again… that must be wrong, right? No… 96.8. I don’t know what the fuck is happening to me, but I am decidedly not postmenopausal.

Apparently hormone testing is worthless because, like they always said about Covid home tests, “It’s only a snapshot of where you are that day.” I have been having really terrible raging hot flashes. They’re the worst in the evening and early morning. It’s from about 7pm to noon the next day. I only get relief from them for about seven hours out of the day. I wake up hot and soaked in sweat, it goes away, and as fast as it left, it comes back again. I have four folding fans – one one my headboard, one at work, one by the couch, and one in my purse.

On Friday I went and got antibiotics and steroids for a sinus infection I have that came on slowly and out of nowhere without a cold first. I’ve been working on this infection and trying to get rid of it for a month, but then suddenly I started coughing. A LOT. This really feels like whooping cough, but no one has bothered to test me for it despite an epidemic of that we have going on here in Oregon right now. Regardless, I do have some congestion in my chest, so I’m taking the antibiotics and Mucinex. The TDaP covers whooping cough (that’s the ‘P’ for Pertussis), so if I do have it, it’s supposedly a mild case. I mean… I haven’t broken any ribs, so there is that. And I just got the shot 2.5 months ago. It’s a once-every-10-years booster for adults.

So go get yours now!

In mid-January I have Hepatitis B and Pneumonia vaccines scheduled. You can get Hep B at age 50 and the CDC just lowered the recommendation for Pneumonia from 65 to 50. Fred Meyer is already on that bandwagon, so as long as my insurance company is as well, I’ll be able to get it. Then I think I’m good until the RSV vaccine at age 65. Then all I’ll have to worry about Brain Worm taking away is our Flu and Covid vaccines. I’m a huge fan of those, especially that Moderna Covid one. I haven’t caught a single common cold since I started getting those vaccines (I’ve had a total of six now). It’s actually been five years because in 2020 all I had was the flu (despite being vaccinated). It was Type A, which is particularly nasty and the vaccine’s effectiveness was low that year.

Anyway… my weight is still way too high, and The Guy and I both need to work on that. His health issues are from his weight and he acknowledged that because the problem he’s been having is with high blood pressure. It got so high he woke up with chest pains one night. So maybe he and I can work on that together.

I wasn’t kidding when I said everyone is sick. My ex just got over norovirus and now has strep and bronchitis. My daughter is six months pregnant and has type A flu. My son is the only one not sick right now.

Goals?

Why do I never have any anymore? Is it because I’m 50 now, and any physical goals beyond weight loss and regular fitness are out of reach? My goal right now is to keep the arthritis pain in my spine and left knee under control.

Travel goals? Nope. Bucket list? Nah. Financial? I have those now. Hobbies? No time for those this year… or last, or the one before that. My only goals now are to prepare for my imminent demise (finally write the memoir and update my will again in a few years).

But in all seriousness, I have had ZERO time for any hobbies, let alone goals. I keep wondering where all of my time is going, and a good chunk of it is just me vegging out on the couch after work until bedtime. I need to stop doing that, or at least give myself a limit of 2-3 days a week or something. On the other hand, I also spend a lot of time cleaning and maintaining things around here, especially over the last few years. This condo is 45 years old, after all. These newfangled appliances are higher maintenance with all their cleaning schedules and filters and the shiny glass stove top I’ve already scratched with a serial number on the bottom of a new pot. The ventless dryer is especially finicky. Since there is no vent, we must meticulously clean the lint filters (there are indeed two). The new coffee maker is a Keurig, and that requires a certain level of maintenance to keep it from clogging up. I got a 4-pack of reusable k-cups so we can still use bagged coffee.

Oh, speaking of “we”… that’s where a lot of my time is going. My son is still living here and paying $400/month “rent” and in return, I pick up his room. I get the trash, recycling, dirty dishes, and make sure he has a box of tissues and the plant is watered. I vacuum, but it’s his responsibility to do his own laundry and dust. Almost two years in, we are still debating over whose job it is to wash his bedding. So my role here is also kind of an unofficial full-time AirBnB host. I’m also life coach, financial advisor, and therapist. When we have conversations, they’re not short. That’s probably where a lot of my extra time is going, too. He and I talk almost every night, sometimes for up to an hour.

I think that’s about all I have for the night. In 2023 I had a really good time during the summer and this one wasn’t bad either, it was just too short. I need to think of ways I can slow down more, but at the same time work on my health. I’m not sure how to manage that. To be fair, buying a lot of things this year took up a lot of my time. New things require set-up and getting rid of the old things, which is time consuming, especially when the new things require rearranging of other things around them to make them fit nicely. Maybe 2025 will be the year of experiences rather than things, since things will be more expensive.

Time to take a break. Another concert, perhaps? The listings don’t look great so far for 2025, so maybe some camping instead. Or a road trip. Or both. I will be meeting my new granddaughter in April.

Wow, it’s been over three months since my last post. So much has happened.

It’s been so long, in fact, I found this old draft saved from shortly after the Imagine Dragons concert that I intended to start writing, and I added the photo but never typed any text. I guess I’ll start with that, then backtrack and go in chronological order.

Imagine Dragons Concert

It was so good. They played in Ridgefield, Washington and it took us two hours to get there because traffic was so bad. I took my son and his girlfriend. We had to wait until she got off work to go pick her up then there were two car accidents on the way because of course there were. We barely got there in time to use the bathroom, get a t-shirt and a drink, and to our seats before they got into the first song. We missed the opening band entirely. It was annoying, but at least we didn’t miss much. This was one of the few bands I went looking to see when they were going on tour rather than just going because they happened to be here. They put on an amazing show and played almost all of my favorite songs. It was worth the effort getting there and back.

Dating

I started doing that again and the dating scene seems to have improved a little bit since Covid. However, it’s still really hard to find that perfect FWB. I had a first date with someone really cute and smart and we hit it off right away. At the end of our date we kissed, then stayed in touch and ended up having sex. The sex was great, but this guy travels for work 2/3 of the year and when he is home, he’s extraordinarily busy. I was getting frustrated with that, then when he admitted he makes himself busy on purpose, I was like, yeah, I can’t deal with that. He denied keeping himself busy in order to avoid facing personal demons and/or baggage, but I know better.

I’d had a few decent conversations going, but one fizzled out and he couldn’t seem to keep it going. Then when I mentioned meeting, he kind of ghosted. Unmatched. Another was was overly aggressive and was messaging me multiple times a day – most of the time before I even had a chance to respond to the last message he’d sent. Unmatched. Then there are the ones who are so focused on one subject, I get bored with the conversation. They’ll find that one thing we have in common and cling to that and talk about nothing but that. Ugh. Unmatched.

I had a date with someone in Sandy, which was a 45-minute drive from here. On the dating app he seemed cute, smart, and nice, so I looked past the fact that he either didn’t know what gluten was, or had zero respect for the fact that I’m gluten intolerant. He kept suggesting restaurants that had nothing but gluten on the menu (pizza, pasta, etc.) but thankfully were permanently closed until he found one that wasn’t (still all gluten). So I went and he was wearing clothes two sizes too big, spit when he talked (much more than the normal person does), and had no car and only a part time job. He also lived with his parents, ended every sentence with a weird crescendo, and ignored me every time I said, “I should get going…” and talked at me for six fucking hours. He doesn’t need a date, he needs a therapist. Unmatched.

There was another one who lived in Albany (an hour drive from here) and he was very young (32). We texted for a while before meeting and that went alright, but he got really pushy about sex. He wanted to have sex right then and there, in public, after I’d already told him I don’t fuck on the first date. After that he kept pushing it, and wanted to spend an entire Saturday together. I was really busy at the time and do not like feeling pressured, so I finally disabled my profile and told him we aren’t a good match. He also lives with his parents, and I wonder if he’s looking for a way out.

I get that a lot of people nowadays in their 20s and even early 30s are living with their parents because all forms of housing are unaffordable, but aggressively seeking a relationship as a way to get out of that living situation is not smart. I know because I’ve done it and it’s always ended badly.

There was another one that I’d given my phone number to before I disabled my profile, and all he would do is say, “Good morning” or a similar one-liner about once a week. He never answered any questions I asked him and he never asked me any questions. He was quite elusive and secretive. Those are red flags, so I told him sorry, we’re not a good match.

I had deleted my old profile and created a new one this time around, which meant anyone I had previously swiped left on, unmatched with, or blocked now showed up. Lo and behold, not long before I disabled my profile again, I saw The Guy. You know the one… lives in Salem (not the runner, the other one) and was insufferable. He assumed I wanted more than I did, just like all men do. He was largely unresponsive and flaky, never thanked me for dinner, and generally drove me crazy. But, to be fair, I was going through a very difficult time when I met him, so I was a little bit insufferable myself.

I texted him. Desperate for a FWB I knew I was sexually compatible with and one that I knew wouldn’t be pushy or take up too much of my time, I figured it was worth a shot. Much to my surprise, a few days later he replied and said he wanted to see me again. I explained that I’d been going through an exceptionally rough couple of years when we met, and that things were a lot different and I’m much more patient now. Apparently things are a little different for him now as well. He’d sold some of his work, “intellectual property,” but spoke with an attorney and took the attorney’s suggestions to ensure he gets royalties. So now he’s not having to work as many hours.

He and I did meet up and he’s been a lot more responsive, reliable, and sweet. He’s been thanking me for dinner and making an effort to see me at least every 1-2 weeks. I’ve seen him more since we reconnected than I ever did before we stopped speaking for a year and a half. I think he may have taken to heart some of the things I was complaining about and took my extended silence as a sign that I make good on my threats. Seeing that I am still single and unattached after all this time may have also confirmed that I do not, in fact, want a committed relationship and I’m very serious about that. He never really believed me, but I think now he does. On the flip side, I’ve also been a lot less texty, clingy, and needy. I’ve been living my own life with work, adulting, and various appointments and household projects. When I’m not busy with that stuff, I’m out hiking with my hiking buddy and that’s always an all-day thing.

So, things are going well so far and it’s been several weeks now. The only caveat is that now he’s considering his options for leaving the country because he has a daughter who is transgender. We all know what happened on November 5th this year isn’t good for a lot of people who aren’t cis gendered, straight, white, and male. When I woke up in the middle of the night and couldn’t sleep, my immediate concern wasn’t the election results, it was the text I got from him talking about exploring his options for moving abroad. 🙁

I’m not attached by any means. It’s just really, really hard to find the perfect FWB and he is absolutely the perfect FWB now. It’s taken 12 years to find that, and for us it’s taken 3.5 years to finally get to a good place together. He had plans to come over yesterday, but it seems he’s come down with Covid. So I’ll be seeing him Thursday night instead. The sex is fabulous and I get cuddles and conversation as well! He provides the dick and the cuddles, and I provide the food, oral sex, and an orgasm in return (I get mine too). He doesn’t ever take up more than about four hours of my time at the most, so it’s extra perfect. We’re also non-monogamous, so I’m free to hook up with someone else if I want to. He is too, and I’m fine with that. (Right now I don’t think he’s seeing anyone else and I’m not either at the moment.)

Family

My mom and stepdad came to visit in August just a couple of weeks after my last post. It was a nice visit. I took them to Roxy’s for dinner in Tualatin, then the following day to Powell’s Books in downtown Portland. I love taking those two into Portland because all they hear about is what a shithole the city is due to their conservative media consumption. It was crowded and one spot smelled like urine while a homeless guy was smoking weed on the street, but there wasn’t anything concerning going on. They loved the food, the bookstore, and swimming in the pool here again. We always have such nice visits.

The only issue we had was my new neighbor in the one-story unit to the west of me. He started a fire in the fireplace without opening the damper first and his smoke alarms were going off incessantly – all afternoon, all night, and into the morning. I was convinced he was deaf until I met him. He’s not deaf, but I think he might be on the autism spectrum. He took a liking to me, though, and when I brought him some fire logs and cookies, we talked for about a hour. He’s opening the damper now and it turns out the steam from his shower sets off the alarm right outside his bathroom. He also had his ceiling fan on the same frequency as mine, so we were in a ceiling fan war for a week until my stepdad got up on a ladder and took apart the base of mine so we could change the DIP switches. All is well now… I have my own ceiling fan control back, it’s quiet, and the neighbor is nice and takes good care of the place. He’s only 27 and his aunt owns it. He’s a contractor, so he seems to enjoy the work he’s doing on it. He also loves fishing. The former tenant retired and moved to Idaho to be closer to her son. I don’t miss her; she was always so rude to me for no reason.

Appliance Drama

Back in 2018 I got a new breaker panel. In summer of 2020 I had to get a new heating element in the oven. Then in 2021 the water heater hoses sprung a leak and I decided since the water heater was 12 years old, it was time to get a new one, so I did that. Later that December, the living room Cadet wall heater broke and I got a new one, then replaced all of the rest of the heaters as well. In 2022 the window AC unit installed in my bedroom wall quit working and I got a new one of those. Just a few months later, my dryer died and I got a new motor for it. Last fall I had all of the fireplace panels replaced, and earlier this year my washing machine broke and it was the suspension springs. I paid a lot of money to have those replace. All of these things cost me a fuck-ton of money.

Once again, my washing machine broke the last week of August. This time it was the tub bearings, and even my awesome repair guys who will fix almost anything wouldn’t fix it. He told me to get a new washing machine and said Lowe’s was the best place to buy one.

The saga begins… oh my. I ordered a washing machine online and it arrived, only to be too small to fit under the existing dryer. One of the delivery guys said I should go to the Lowe’s store and buy the matching dryer, and in the meantime I had him leave the new washer in my garage. Sigh. OK, fine. So I went to Lowe’s and they didn’t have the matching dryer in stock. I looked around at what they did have in stock that would fit, and I decided on an LG WashTower. It’s a stacked unit, but not technically stacked… it’s all one unit with a washer on the bottom and a dryer on top. The delivery guy also said my dryer outlet was actually a range outlet and that because it’s not up to code, they wouldn’t plug it in. I’d have to replace the cable myself, which I didn’t want to do. Because I want all of my electrical to be up to code and safe, I had an electrician come out the evening before the washer/dryer delivery and change the outlet to the tune of $560.

The delivery guys from Lowe’s showed up and they took the old washer and dryer out, returned the new one that wouldn’t fit, and installed the new LG WashTower. They had to do all of this up a fucking flight of stairs and take the bathroom door of its hinges. It was such hard work for them and still hot outside, so I sent them away with ice cold cans of Waterloo.

It turns out the LG WashTower has a heat pump ventless dryer! Ventless! How exciting. I wasn’t even seeking that out; it was just what was in stock that would fit and not break the bank. The first thing I did was email the HOA board of directors and told them to fuck off about requiring proof of annual dryer vent cleaning. Then I spent yet another $400 on one last vent cleaning and had the guy cut the flexible vent off at the ceiling and cover it. Dryer ventilation? Unmatched. It’s a smart one, too, so I can control it from an app and see how many cycles have been run so I know when to do all the maintenance on it.

Then I got a notice from PGE that the average pay amount for my electric bill was going up by a whopping $46/month.

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. I’m paying $208/month for 1,008 square feet?! I’m pretty sure that square footage includes the garage, so it’s less than that! Granted, PGE has raised their rates by 40% since 2021 and they’re going up again next year – all the more reason to conserve. My goal now is to get that bill back under $200/month if that’s even possible. I refuse to be miserably cold in the winter, so I’m cutting back on everything but heat. However, I did figure out how to put a tarp over the outside of the AC unit (it’s on the second story so I did it from my bedroom window) and put a cover over the inside as well. I’m also closing the blinds at night to keep some of the cold out and I bought extra sweaters and an electric throw blanket to use when I’m just sitting on the couch watching TV instead of turning the heat up. I’m burning fire logs on cold nights, too. Those are expensive, but it’s part of the grocery budget which tends to fluctuate.

After receiving that notice I promptly replaced six of the most-used power strips in the condo with Kasa smart power strips and set them all to turn off when we’re asleep and at work. Only one of them in my son’s room comes on automatically. The rest all stay off unless I need a device, then I tell Alexa to turn it on and back off when I’m done with it. They have an energy monitoring feature, so I can see on the app which things are power hogs and which electronics are drawing a lot of phantom power when they’re turned off. I’ve been talking to people about this and I’m shocked by how many people aren’t aware that phantom (or “vampire”) power is a thing! I’ve known it all along but didn’t think it was as bad as it is. I’m already seeing a slight drop in our energy consumption on the PGE app.

Because of the intense sticker shock with my electric bill and the cost of appliance repair for old appliances, I decided to go ahead and start replacing all of my appliances with Energy Star certified ones. The water heater will have to wait about 7-8 years because it’s only three years old. But when it’s time to replace it, I’ll go tankless. The Cadet wall heaters don’t count because they can’t possibly be energy efficient, but they are also only three years old. The microwave can’t be Energy Star because none of them are, but that’ll be the next thing I replace because mine is older than dirt and I’ve had to epoxy broken parts back onto it. The AC unit I bought in 2022 is Energy Star… I did that without realizing it. The new washer and dryer also are, which I also did without realizing it. Good news on both counts.

I found out my range and dishwasher were both 28 years old, so I took the plunge – I sold off all the stocks and bonds in my brokerage account (the home improvement fund) and transferred the money to checking so I could pay off the credit card. Then I bought an Energy Star certified range and dishwasher. Lowe’s was going to take three months, so I got them from Home Depot. So far I love them both! The range is beautiful and has these dual burners and a warm zone. It’s a glass top and the oven does air frying. The dishwasher is so quiet. It also has a third rack on top that’s flat for things like knives and utensils.

Like I said, the microwave will be next, but it won’t be for a while. I have to save up more money first because I’d emptied out my home improvement fund. I had been saving for new flooring upstairs, so that will just have to wait quite a while longer. I think in about five years or so, I’ll spring for a fridge. I need a smaller one because the one I currently have is a huge pain in the ass. The Home Depot delivery guys had to take it out of its cubby and move it into the living room to get the old range out and the new one in. They actually weren’t supposed to do that, but they did it anyway and their boss had them take photos. They did do some slight superficial damage to the living room flooring, but it’s barely noticeable and it was worth it. I tipped them each $40 for going above and beyond. Thankfully the dishwasher installation was uneventful. I don’t know what my options are for an Energy Star refrigerator, but I’ll look later when it’s time to buy one. The current fridge was the newest of the appliances having been manufactured in 2015. Now the microwave is the oldest. It’s an over-the-range microwave, so not exactly cheap or easy to install. I’ll leave that to the professionals.

Middle age

I turned 50 years old since the last time I wrote here. That’s a pretty big deal to me. I’m feeling it, physically, that’s for sure. I’m doing OK, though. I’m also going to have my first grandchild next April. My daughter is going to have a baby girl and she’s due April 10th. She said I could be there for the birth if I can make it in time; if not, at least I’ll get to meet her. 🙂

I was six months overdue for my TDaP vaccine booster (that’s every 10 years), so I went and got the flu and Covid vaccines for this year first. Then the day after my 50th birthday I got the TDaP and first shingles vaccine. I’ll go and get the second shingles vaccine in February sometime – definitely on a Friday. It’s a nasty one! Kinda like that first Covid booster we all got back in fall of 2021… remember that one? Yeah… it feels a lot like that, but with the addition of a big, red, sore, itchy bump on the arm that lasts for about a week. It stayed discolored for two weeks and just finally stopped itching last week. It’s a doozy, but I’m still absolutely 100% pro-vaccine. Give me ALL the vaccines. My son was also nice enough to be cooperative and go get his flu and Covid vaccines for this fall.

More new Stuff

My employer changed our dental insurance company, so I took that opportunity to say goodbye to our dental office of 10 years. They had gone way downhill and were so bad, they closed for two months and called to confirm our appointments even after I told them we were canceling our appointments and switching dentists. They were a big corporate chain, anyway. Come to find out, our new dentist office has our old hygienist who was so good! We’ve both gone to the new dentist now and we’re both very happy. It’s even closer to home than the old office; it’s a 10-minute walk down the street! And our hygienist is being paid more than twice what she was at the corporate chain. It’s a win-win for all of us.

Also, my son has now been employed at the company where we work for five years. He was recently offered a new position as Warehouse Coordinator. It’s pretty much a lateral promotion, but it’ll get him out of the warehouse and into the sales office.

I think that’s about all I have for now. I’m still smoking weed, which has been really nice. I have developed a bit of a tolerance, but I do only smoke at night before bed and on weekends. Not all weekend, though, I get my chores done first. And I don’t do it on hiking days until before bed. My favorite strains are Carbon Fiber, The Soap, Eucalyptus Haze, and Bakers Dozen. The Soap seems to be the only Sativa I’ve tried so far that doesn’t send my mind reeling in an uncomfortable way, yet doesn’t make me sleepy like an Indica or even 50/50 hybrid can. I have gained a little weight from the munchies, but not a lot, which is surprising because I’ve been eating quite a bit.

I’m still dressing nicer; in fact, I’ve upped my wardrobe game quite a bit. I’m still taking advantage of my Old Navy rewards, but only for things like dresses, active wear, and jeans now. Their shirts are much too thin and short, just terrible quality. The sweaters are too thin and pill too easily. I hadn’t realized how bad they all are until I started ordering shirts and cardigan sweaters on Amazon. I’ve found some really good brands. The t-shirts are thick, v-neck, long enough to cover my hips, and come in lots of colors. Even the sleeves are longer. They’re just better overall. I’ve found some mary jane shoes I love as well, and rather than only black/white/gray shirts I’m wearing seasonal colors. I’m also wearing make-up and jewelry more regularly, and got some nice Timex watches and a pearl necklace. I’ve started doing my make-up differently. I wear a cream blush from a stick and use a highlighting powder and wear a nice Revlon Colorstay lipstick. I have several shades now. Instead of the old spongy eye shadow applicators that wear out and tear, I’m using brushes. I’ve essentially given myself a make-over. I’ve kept my hair long and layered and get it trimmed up every 10 weeks. I’m using an at-home tooth whitening gel every six months. All that’s left is losing weight again…but then I’ll have to buy a whole new wardrobe again. So I’ll do that one slow and steady, but lately I’ve been busy with dating and condo maintenance and improvements. All in due time.

The next concert I’ll be going to is Thievery Corporation in December. After that, Heart in March. I don’t have any planned after that, or any plans for summer; just the trip to Idaho in April to see my new granddaughter. I should start thinking about what to do next summer. I think I’m long overdue for some camping.

It’s been over a month again already. I’ve been pretty busy with all kinds of things.

I left home at 7:00am the day my dad, stepmom, and I agreed to meet at Spectrum Mines in south-central Oregon. They left Boise at 9:00am. Cell service was spotty, but we checked in with each other when we could. Neither of us had any problems, thank goodness. Both times I’ve gone to the mines I’ve seen someone stranded on the side of the road with either an empty gas tank or an overheated engine. When my mom went in June, her friends had two flat tires on their trailer and my mom was hit by a car in the Safeway parking lot in Burns. She was OK, but had to have 11 stitches in her elbow and a bunch of x-rays.

The amazing part is that we all got to the same place in the middle of absolutely nowhere with no cell service, only 20 minutes apart! I got there at 3:00pm.

We just happened to be there the three hottest days of this summer that second week of July. I reserved a tiny one-room cabin with nothing but a chair and a wooden frame with a sketchy mattress, but I had enough food and water to last for a week. My parents had the trailer my dad had been using when he was traveling as a welding inspector. He’s used to working in the desert and being outside panning for gold and fishing, so I wasn’t at all worried about him. They had a battery, propane, 40 gallons of water, and a generator with 10 gallons of gas. So we had a flushing toilet, a refrigerator, a stove to cook on, and air conditioning. It was pretty nice.

The first thing we did was pay for the high quality ore pile and started working through it. It’s something that I learned last year takes most of the day, and we stopped to take breaks due to the heat. The second day we were there, I paid for a pit dig. It was my first time doing that, and it was hard work and very hot, but really fun. I wore long pants and a light long-sleeved shirt, a thing draped over my neck, and a floppy safari hat. I sweated like a pig, but out there in the desert there’s a lot of wind, so I wasn’t getting overheated. Hydration was the main issue, but I managed to keep that under control as well with my Camelbak hydration pack. I’d also taken 10 gallons of water with me. Overall we were all pretty well prepared to be out in the high desert in full sun, 100+ degree heat, digging in a pit in a mine for two days.

And we did! We survived! The worst that happened was that on my way home on highway 20, a rock hit my windshield and it caused a chip that was too big to fill. A couple of days later my windshield cracked, as expected. So I called an auto glass repair company and someone came out and replaced my windshield here at home for me while I was working.

Then the next day I texted the installer. A few days after that, we fucked.

I made sure to ask him if he was single and fed him a home-cooked meal first.

Now before anyone reads this and gets any ideas… no. Even if I did want to be in a relationship, he’s 100% off the market, emotionally. He’s been through too much. Several years ago he was in a pretty bad motorcycle accident, then he did 14 months behind bars for “coercion” (I only heard his side of the story) and while he was locked up, his 19-year-old daughter died.

He’s broken beyond repair, and I’d be very surprised if I ever saw him again even though we agreed on a food-for-sex exchange and that we’d “do this again sometime.” I did take my car though the car wash and it rained and there are no leaks, so I won’t have to call the company for a warranty claim. However, I don’t hold not wanting to see me again against anyone, and he did a fantastic job. So if I do ever need more auto glass, I will call that company again.

Right after I got home and got all settled in, before I got my new windshield, I emailed the HOA board to ask for a new resident parking permit sticker for my new windshield. Two days went by and I didn’t get a response. So I emailed a second time and they simply told me to use my visitor hang tag. That set me off in a very big way.

Unbeknownst to me at the time, the installer was kind enough to scrape off my permit and put it on the new windshield. However, I’d object in a courtroom setting based on relevance. I asked for a new permit for a new windshield, and they refused to give me one. So I responded and told them that was unacceptable, and it became a big thing. I told them we don’t need permits to park here, so they put out new “Permit Parking Only” signs.

Long story short, I hired an attorney. The tl;dr version: there is absolutely nothing I can do except try to rally all of the other owners and either oust board members, vote to change the rules, or both. Either way, I took enough money out of savings to pay for three hours of my attorney’s time and he’s going to help me in any way he can. He’s going to start by reading our CC&Rs and Bylaws and writing up a petition for me to send to the other owners. We can force a “special meeting” for all owners and force the board to start notifying all owners of board meetings (they currently don’t, which is illegal).

He also went over the legality of some of the rules they’ve imposed on us, and two of them are unenforceable. I also learned that they are not allowed to peer through our patio fences. Despite them being “limited common elements,” because there is a direct line of sight into our living rooms through the gaps between boards, they have to give us a minimum of 24 hours notice to inspect.

So, basically all I can do is be a huge pain in the ass. I pay all of my dues on time every month and follow every rule. Now I’m calling them out on every rule of their own they break. Just this week I caught them “selectively enforcing” rules by busting a board member with a visitor in the parking lot without a permit. I took a picture of it and sent it to the management company.

I also reported them for a code violation with the swimming pool not having a rope between the shallow and deep ends, not having the ladder installed on the shallow end, and when I went to take pictures of that, I found the gate had been left unlocked.

I also looked at our financials and confirmed what I’d suspected – they never had the arborist out here or had our gutters cleaned in the spring.

I also emailed them to let them know I was hosting an orgy last weekend, and asked if that was OK with them. (I wasn’t really; I was simply making a point.)

My next email is going to plead with them to allow me to have my seven pet rocks because they say “No more than two pets” but don’t specify what kind of pets – indoor/outdoor, dog/cat, breed, weight, etc. (This was one of the rules my attorney said is unenforceable due to the vagueness of it.)

And I’m back on OkCupid.

I created an entirely new profile and filled it out with all of my details of what I’m looking for, who I am, and what kinds of people I’d like to spend time with. I also posted seven of my most recent photos, all from within the last two years, most from this year. I seem to be having better luck than I did the last time I was on the app, but men are still very slow to respond and can’t seem to keep a conversation going or be bothered to meet in person.

There is one guy I’ve been texting just about every day since we first matched, but he was only here for work and actually lives in Iowa. By the time we started messaging, he’d already left Oregon. He’s really fun to talk to, though! He’s a riot. We’ve become friends, sort of, in pretty short order.

I’ve been messaging with two other guys and they’re OK, I guess, although one of them might be a bit of a nut job, politically. He’s not a Trump supporter, but would vote for brain worm guy. He’s cute, I guess, but I don’t think we’re necessarily compatible. I’m not looking for a life partner, but…. you know… ideals still need to align.

There’s another one who strikes me as someone who is probably very shy and insecure. He only responds to my messages about every four days and never has anything interesting to say. *yawn*

Either way, I’m never again allowing anyone to string me along for months, so any guy who won’t agree to meet me in person within a month’s time is getting unmatched (except for Iowa guy, of course).

As per usual, as soon as my profile was finished, I got the wave of “intros” from the cubs looking for cougars. Pass. Pass. Pass.

Then there are the guys who send intros that are only a comment on my appearance. Pass. Pass. Pass.

Then there are the ones who live a 90-minute drive away. Pass.

I’m still trying to think of what to say to the 33-year-old who is my eldest son’s doppelganger. I could just tap the ‘X’ and move on, but he sent me a really long paragraph that was so incredibly sweet and eager, I’d feel bad for brushing him off without an explanation. Then again, “You look too much like my son” is too much information, even for me.

I guess I’ll wait out the two I’m talking to now and unmatch after a month has gone by and keep swiping. I decided that in order to avoid getting overwhelmed, I’d stop swiping and sending intros once I have 2-3 conversations going. Then once those fizzle out and drop, off, start swiping and sending intros again until I have 2-3 going again.

So those sunstones I got this time around, they’re pretty neat. I should have left them in the tumbler on the polish stage for another week, but I have people at work I’m giving some to, and one is an intern who will be leaving us soon to go back to school. I came home with a lot more this year, and tumbled the good half first. The ones in the tumbler now had some rock stuck to them, they’re cracked, smaller, or mostly just yellow. But we’ll see… once they come out of the tumbler all shiny and smooth, you can see the copper in them better. I might be pleasantly surprised by this seemingly inferior batch.

What was different about the pit dig was that they took me to a spot that produces “greens.” Those are sunstones that are the typical yellow in color but have green in the center. There is one that’s mostly green, and it’s gorgeous. It’s in the lower right of the featured photo. Then there’s that chunky one with all the copper in it toward the upper left. It’s pretty noticeable. I’m not sure what I’ll do with that one. It’s probably good enough to be cut, but I already did all that business last year. I might just polish it up nicely and keep it in my jewelry box.

I keep saying I won’t go back to that place because it’s so far away, harsh, and risky. I really will not go back before getting a set of new tires and a radiator flush. But I probably won’t ever again now that my mom and dad have both been.

I had another annual performance review and it was better this year than last. I got a 4% pay increase which wasn’t as much as last year, but last year was my 10-year anniversary and I got a promotion. This year it’s pretty much cost of living, and I’m satisfied with it.

My mammogram was good again this year, so that’s a relief. I’ll be 50 soon, so it’ll be time to get my shingles vaccines.

Not much else is going on. Just work, fighting the power, and life coaching the adult son. I did go on a hike a couple of weekends ago. We did Bald Mountain. I need to text him again for another hike soon.

Oh! I have exciting news! My daughter is pregnant! Right now I’m a step-grandma, and next April I’ll be a grandma-grandma. I’m not sure why I didn’t lead with that; probably because I’ve told pretty much everyone I know already, so it’s kind of old news now. 🙂